How to de-stress in today's mechanical world

First of all We need to understand what stress means and what it can do to us. Stress is very easily defined as any physical or mental demand exceeding the capacity of the person and causing the equilibrium of the person to fall below the normal state of control. One can identify stress by these major altercations in behaviour: Increase in heart beat, heavy breathing, feeling of having butterflies in the stomach, stammering while speaking, sweating during the course of interviews or discussions with superiors. 
Though we realise that stress is a part and parcel of today's materialistic lifestyle, we don't address it in the best manner. Stress is of two types Eustress & Distress. Eustress is when you get all exciting and happy news and you feel completely on top of the world. Distress is just the opposite when you face all negative news such as termination, failure in examinations,annulment of marriage, divorces and a close person's death. 

In order to seek a remedy for stress, one needs to firstly understand and accept that he or she is under distress. The major symptoms to be identified are having excessive fatigue, increased palpitations, facing sleep problems, inability to relax and so on. Once the symptoms are identified, We need to research means to alleviate the stress symptoms. 

A few suggestions which can act as de-stress techniques are:

1. You may prefer confiding with someone, avail their support, sometimes take suggestions and advice, implement the same.

2. A very good method of relieving stress is to pick up some workout regime such as physical exercises, going to gym, running, swimming, jogging, sports like badminton, Golf, Snooker etc.

3. One can also listen to their favourite music, take out time for themselves and most importantly listen to their body.

4. Start doing activities which you enjoy doing such as trekking, photography, travelling, going for movies, to name a few.

5. Spend time with your family. That is another way of reducing stress.

6. Once you leave your workplace for your residence, avoid carrying the burden of your work to home. Do not convert your home into office.

7. Be calm and maintain your cool. If your heart starts beating faster than usual, take your time and relax.  Practice any relaxation techniques twice a day.

8. Keep motivating yourself by uttering positive statements such as I can do this, All is well, You are    bound to succeed and so on.

9. Try to get as much as sleep as possible and practice methods of sleep hygiene.

10. Try to identify the most unhealthy aspect of your stress and jettison it from your life. 

11. Crack jokes, spend some time leisurely and learn to enjoy your life as much as possible.

These steps above are just basic suggestions to reduce the stress levels in any competitive environment. There are many other methods of reducing stress but they could be a long term process to implement. So it would be good for us to try practising these remedial measures to decrease the level of stress in our lives and make it more enjoyable for us as well as our near and dear.

The 5 A's to success

Every success story has a road map, which need to be followed to achieve the expected result.  Needless to say, the road travelled is a long one encompassing various stages of management, to achieve success and excellence. I would like to categorise the stages as “The 5 A’s to Success” viz. Analyze, Accept, Assist, Approach and Adopt.

I take this opportunity in explaining each stage to the best of my knowledge. It may help in creating some insight in the minds of aspiring individuals, who want to make a mark for themselves in today’s much competitive professional arena.

Analyze

Analyzing primarily is to specifically identify trends in the market place and deduce why one tend is workable and another failed.  Over a period of time, Analyzing will help us identify methods to measure our performance, where to scale up our resources, build a model prototype to utilize for the best quality end result at low cost. It also helps us define alternate methods to reach the same level of success. The more we Analyze, the more is the perfection of preparation to attain the desired result. Over time, it helps us look at situations from different perspectives and broadens our area of reasoning as to why the situation is dealt in various scenarios. 

Accept

The second aspect is to accept what we are and what our drawbacks are. Every person aspires to be the ruler of his domain. However, we need to always check for what difference we can bring to the world by being what we are because we tend to adopt few characteristics of successful people but cannot transform ourselves completely. Alternately we need to accept others as they are. It is always important to stop focusing on negatives, then alone can we start noticing anything and everything positive.

Assist

It is always nice being a boss of a firm with people always there to assist you. However to ensure that the firm grows, it is necessary for the boss to assist his employees from time to time. Being the boss, it is your duty to help your employees whenever and wherever they need it. This will help brush out all the impurities that might be there in your relationship with your employees.

Approach

Most of the times we come across situations where we do not achieve the goals as we expected. In such circumstances, we may need to revise our approach to ensure that we achieve the required goal. In the process of revising our approach, we may decide to sideline some preset goals for later and focus on the most important goal amongst the vast number of goals.

Adopt

The most important reason behind any successful person is their habits that they have created and maintained over a period of time. When we aspire to succeed, we need to inculcate some habits of successful people in our psyche.  Adoption of habits of successful people into our DNA is the first step in becoming one like the successful. These habits adopted and practiced over time helps us become better individuals both in professional and personal life.

For a aspiring individual wanting to carve a niche for himself or herself, these five "A's" may act as a booster for their dreams. 

Talent Vs Favoritism

Is talent important or being the favorite of the management important??? In most cases, Talent coupled with being favorite of the management becomes the most beneficial. However playing favorite to the management is not everyone’s baby. Not all people can keep everyone happy.

There are instances where a very efficient and effective professional who is the master of the trade in his area of operation fails to get recognition because he is not a favorite. Recognition in more than often comes by after the particular individual falls prey to the office politics and nepotism. How does one survive against this so called Office politics.

We have often heard the quote “Hard Work Pays”.  However in more than one instance, we get to see that hard work is always repaid by more work and less recognition. In such situations, how can anyone put in his best when he or she knows that the benefits of hard work will be recognized after the individual phases out from the system.

Thanks to equal opportunity employers like TATAs and ITC, that rift between talent and favoritism is breached to a great extent and hard work is immediately recognised at the moment it should be and also appreciated. However it ought to be the case in all organisations. Just because an individual does not showcase himself as the management favorite or use flattery, the individual should not be sidelined or treated as a punching bag or victim of office politics. Corporates should understad the latent talents of individuals and hone the skills for the organisation to become a trend setter for all organisations.

Some Management Lessons from the great epic Mahabharata

The second longest epic of the world, Mahabharata is not just an epic narrative of the Kurukshetra War or a book of philosophy; rather it's a comprehensive manual on management strategy. Mahabharata encompasses many lessons on management which can potentially be applied to modern business practices. Vyasa's epic poem is considered to be a pertinent handbook on management and these management insights are being practiced by many today. Let us take a look at some of the best practices from India's great epic of knowledge and inspiration. 

1. Transform your weakness into strength

Like how Pandavas transformed their weaknesses to strengths during the years of exile, you need to have the urge to improve on your weakness. Mahabarata gives many an examples to highlight the importance of utilizing time to overcoming your skills like how Arjuna went on a mission to attain the Divyastras or Yudhisthira mastered the Game of Dice. You need to have the passion to dedicate adequate time to learn those skills that can help you overcome your weakness only by which you can be a great manager. 

2. Share your responsibilities

Efficiently sharing responsibilities is the mark of a good manager and the great Indian epic gives the best example for this. Pandavas fought the war as one team with one goal in mind while Kauravas lacked the team spirit and they all fought individual wars. It advises the managers not to make the decision-making process a dictatorial one, rather involve everyone so that the best of ideas will pop up.

3. Learn the art of teamwork

It was not a common war for Kauravas as they never showed the unity. But the way Pandavas fought is a lesson for managers as it highlights the significance of sticking on to the common goal while meeting the individual targets. The great story teaches the golden lesson that only a combined effort can bring in success.

4. Know the ground realities

Pandavas spent one year in exile with the poor people and the years of exile helped them to reach out to people from various strata of the society while Kaurava's had no experience of the ground reality as they lived a royal life. Managers need to understand the realities to lead their team in the right direction. They need to break the barriers to get in touch with their subordinates to understand their problems and identify ways to make their work easier.

5. Take calculated risks

Krishna has acted as a greatest crisis manager showing how to take calculated risks at the time of crisis. Management is all about taking calculated risks. Shying away from challenges is not a sign of management, rather well-assessed decisions to on facing the challenges is the trademark of good management. 

Why am I a Hindu?

I was flying from New York to San Francisco - a long journey, nearly 7 hours. An American girl was next to me. I was surprised to see the young girl reading a Bible, unusual for a young American. After a while, she smiled and we started talking. I told her that I am from India.

She asked: What's your faith? I did not understand the question.

- I mean, what's your religion? Are you a Christian or a Muslim?

- I am a Hindu.

She looked at me as if she was seeing a caged animal. A common man in Europe or US knows about Christianity and Islam, the leading religions of the world today, but a Hindu?

I explained: I am born to a Hindu father and Hindu mother. I am a Hindu by birth.

- Who is your Prophet?

- We don't have a Prophet.

- What's your Holy Book?

- There’s no single Holy Book. We have thousands of philosophical and sacred Scriptures.

- Oh, come on! Tell me who your God is. Like Jesus and Allah, don't you have a God?

I thought for a moment. Muslims and Christians believe one God (Male) who created the world. Her mind is conditioned with that kind of belief -- a religion must have one Prophet, one Holy Book and one God.

I tried to explain: You may believe in one God and be a Hindu. You may believe in multiple deities and still be a Hindu. You may not believe in God and still be a Hindu. An agnostic may also be a Hindu.

It sounded crazy to her. She could not imagine a religion so unorganised, surviving for thousands of years, even after onslaught by foreign forces.

- I don't understand but it seems very interesting. Are you religious?

What can I tell this American girl? I said: I do not go to temple regularly. I do not perform regular rituals. I learned some rituals in my youth, and enjoy performing them sometimes.

- Enjoy? Are you not afraid of God?

- God is a friend. No, I am not afraid of God. Nobody has made any compulsions on me to perform these rituals regularly.

She asked: Have you ever thought of converting to any other religion?

- Why should I? Even if I challenge some rituals and tenets, nobody can convert me from Hinduism. Being a Hindu allows me to think independently and objectively, without conditioning. I remain a Hindu not by force, but by choice. Hinduism is not a religion, but a set of beliefs and practices. It was not founded by any one person. It has no organised controlling body like the Church. There is no institution or authority.

- So, you don't believe in God? She wanted everything in black and white.

- I didn't say that. I do not discard the Divine Reality. Our Scriptures -- Shrutis, Smritis, The Vedas, Upanishads, The Gita -- say that God may be there or may not be there. We pray to that supreme abstract authority -- Parama Brahma -- the creator of the Universe. We do not have a God who hides behind clouds of secrecy, tells us irrational stories through a few men who claim to be His messengers, and demands worship or else! I don't think that God is an autocratic emperor who wants others to respect him or fear him. Such notions are just fancies of less enlightened human imagination. At some level, Hinduism has superstitions, but the philosophical side of Hinduism transcends them.

- Good that you agree God might exist. You said that you pray. What is your prayer?

- Loka Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu. Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.

- What does it mean?

- May all the beings in all the worlds be happy. Let there be peace everywhere.

- Hmm...interesting. I want to learn about Hindu. It is so democratic, broad-minded and free.

- Hinduism is a religion of the individual, with its roots in the Vedas and the Bhagavad-Gita. It is all about an individual approaching God according to his inner evolution.

- How does anybody convert to Hinduism?

- Nobody can convert to Hinduism. It is not a religion, but a culture, a way of life, a set of beliefs and practices. Everything is acceptable in Hinduism because there is no single authority or organisation either to accept you or to reject you. If you look for meaning in life, don't look for it in religions; don't go from one cult to another or from one guru to the next. For a real seeker, the Bible gives guidelines when it says 'the Kingdom of God is within you'. Remember Christ's teaching about the love that we have for each other.

Loving every creation of the God is a tenet of Hinduism. 'Isavasyam idam sarvam' Isam (the God) is present everywhere. God (Brahma) is manifest in everything.

Hinduism is Sanatana Dharma, The Eternal Faith. Dharma is the code of life. An important part of Hinduism is being truthful to oneself. Hinduism has no monopoly on ideas. It is open to all. Hindus believe in one God expressed in different forms. God is a timeless and formless entity.

Ancient Hindus believed in eternal truths and cosmic laws. These truths are open to any seeker. But there is a section of Hindus who are superstitious and fanatic to make this an organised religion. The British coin the word 'Hindu' and considered it as a religion.

Religions have become an MLM (multi-level-marketing) industry, trying to expand market share by conversion. Spirituality is big business.

I am a Hindu primarily because it professes non-violence - 'Ahimsa Paramo Dharma' – non- violence is the highest duty. I am a Hindu because it doesn't condition my mind with any faith system. A man/woman who changes his/her birth religion is a fake and does not value his/her morals, culture and values. Hinduism was the first religion. Be proud of your religion and be proud of who you are. Om Namah Shivaya!

 As i’ve always told my friends in the West:

-         Hinduism is a philosophy (a way of thought) more than a religion (a way of life).

-         It has been “organically” grown – no Prophet, no Holy Book, and no Church. It grew out of the worship of Nature and the Elements (Rigveda).

-         It is a very open religion, and allows space for debate, even dissent.

-         Some of the pillars of Hindu philosophy are:

-   God is manifest in everything and in every being.

-   Unlike in some other religions, we are not born sinners and sufferers, and we do not have to constantly redeem ourselves, nor do we have to constantly pray to the Saviour. The concept of Anandam (Bliss) is unique to Hindu philosophy and religion. You should strive for Anandam while living your life.

-   The soul is immortal   (na jayate mriyate va kadachin

nayam bhutva bhavita va na bhuyah

ajo nityah shashvato 'yam purano

na hanyate hanyamane shareere)

-   Your ultimate quest is to know yourself (atmanam biddhi).

-   God only loves, never punishes.

-         The labels Hindu, Hinduism or even India, are alien imports. The indigenous philosophy (or religion if you may) never had a name. Europeans, not able to understand such a confused, loose religion, had to give it a name. They borrowed the word from the Arabs, who, in turn, had learnt it from the Persians. The name actually denotes a place (the River Indus, called Sindhu in Sanskrit).

-         Sikhism, Jainism, even Buddhism borrow heavily from Hinduism, and may even be considered sects.

-         The modern phenomenon of the holy man or the guru as a wealthy marketeer (the double ‘e’ is intentional, just like in ‘buccaneer’ or ‘profiteer’) is an aberration. it has no connect with Hindu philosophy.

Euthanasia - A Pandora's Box We Shouldn't Have Opened

Can you kill someone in India if you feel like? Hell no. Ok – Can you kill yourself if you are that frustrated? Well certainly you can but it is termed illegal. So that’s pretty much rests the case on how and to what extent life is considered pious and valuable on the eyes of our constitution. So in nutshell – our constitution doesn’t allow you to kill anyone, including yourself. If the guidelines which at least from the looks of it sounds so concrete then from where the debate on Aruna Shanbaug’s mercy killing came into picture? If we go by the books then we are not allowed to kill anyone – be it merciful or revengeful. So why we are so eager to kill a certain Aruna and if that was not enough we even dragged our request at the door steps of the Apex court for their intervention. We must have gone crazy one might wonder. Even if to some extent we have, but it is not entirely that.

Now look at Aruna Shanbaug – A lady who is in a vegetative state for the better part of the last four decades, barely able to lift her eyelids on her own, I am told she still loves Konkani Machhi curry (which sounds like a nonsense to me) and last but not the least she at times responds by some short of gesture when her name is called. To make her life more miserable (if it hasn’t already crossed all miserable milestones) there are no immediate relatives to stand by her. The nurses of the KEM hospital are what many consider as the family that Aruna ever had. So now sit and ponder – does anyone deserves such life? Aren’t we be doing a great favor to her if we let her free from this miserable life and have a peaceful and dignified exit? Now one can say; it is easier to talk like an intellectual when none of your close relatives are the point of discussion. True – many of those who are in support of ending the misery of Aruna would run away from the answering dais if they are asked what would have been their opinion if it is their close ones instead of Aruna. Certainly a situation we don’t even want to imagine, let alone being brave enough to be judgmental. Then why such hypocrisy in case of Aruna? Only because she doesn’t have anyone as a relative to stand by her that we got the liberty to decide the best for her? Are we as a nation turned so immoral and unsympathetic towards someone’s misery? Or are we in fact doing a great service towards Aruna by our collective decision? Even if the answers to earlier questions are farfetched and circumstantial, there is one person who can answer the last question with some authority – that is Aruna herself. But looking at Aruna, I doubt if we would get the answer ever.

I am not trying to be unsympathetic, immoral or sentimental but plain practical. Forget about Aruna and just take yourself to her position and answer – would you have wished to live another day with your monumental misery or wanted to die peacefully the next second? If the person is not too greedy, then majority would choose the later as the first option. Hope I am not misinterpreted, but look at the economics attached behind such miserable life. Take the case of Priyaranjan Dashmunsi – a person who is in a complete vegetative state since 2008. Chartered flights are booked every now-and-then and the gentleman is airlifted to different corners of the globe for his treatment. I pray to God that Mr.Dashmunsi does recover from this situation which looks hopelessly impossible. I would like to take a pause and want to ask – who is paying for his treatment (hope I’m not misinterpreted)? Being an ex-politician, the tax payers are paying for this. When 60% of our country is deprived from basic healthcare facilities this investment of money on Mr.Dashmunsi is anything but wastage. I know in the matter of life and death, economics and money shouldn’t be brought in. But before I can explain further I want you guys to remember the public help notices that comes in newspapers every now and then to save the little child who is dying to some disease due to lack of fund. Now answer – given a chance, whom you would prefer the money to go? Towards a vegetative person or the small child who is yet to see the world? I think the answer of yours’ would settle the argument. So in the larger canvas, by forcing an individual to suffer in such precarious conditions we might not be doing a great service to the person himself/herself.

One thing that I hate most in keeping someone alive by external support system is the affinity of us to play God. In natural circumstances the person would have been dead long back hadn’t he/she been put on ventilators or any other gadgets that only doctors can pronounce. But we with our over inflated ego make sure we defy God and make our own rules. More than that we feel the importance of social fabrics attached in keeping alive your closed ones (come what may). No one would agree to take the life support of his father, how precarious his condition may be. The dual feeling of hunting self-conscience and the social stigma of – ‘Kyesa beta hai. Apne baap ko marne keliye chor diya ’ forces the son to stand helplessly and watch his father’s misery. I was having a talk with a gentleman the other day. He still has a heavy heart on thinking about that day when he was left with no option but to allow his father a dignified exit. As per him, it was going beyond his tolerating limit to see his father’s misery on daily basis. He just couldn’t stand the pain his father was going through, whom he loves so much. He assured me that the decision of his was not because he didn’t want to take the responsibility further but he just couldn’t see his father’s misery anymore. I’m not sure if he did the right thing or not but for sure opened a new window for debate.

Now the curious case of Aruna Shanbaug opened new avenues for discussion. While out rightly rejecting the option of Active-Euthanasia, the court did allowed the practice of Passive-Euthanasia; only if the close relatives of the sufferer ask for it. Now this brings me to ask – is it the fault of Aruna that she doesn’t have any close relatives around; hence she has to continue with her misery? If that so then this judgment of our Apex court is as useless (with all respect) as Piyush Chawla for team India. Can’t the court come up with some short of framework? A living will kind of thing where including his properties a person can decide what should be meted to him/her if such situation arises? I know how tough it is to work with a living will, but we can certainly try this till we come up with a better way of handling such situations. Our doctors can be handy in this. For critical diseases the treating doctor can very well have an open talk with the patient and get his consent on the next course of action, if things go utterly hopeless.

Having said that, I want to admit – we are no one to decide if the person should live another day or not. Let at times the nature take the driver’s seat and we being the simple commuters (not even backseat drivers). Aruna Shanbaug is for sure a disturbing case. I am confident she is not the only one who is suffering as there would be many unreported Aruna Shanbaugs dumped as vegetables on their beds and continue to live with their misery. We might not be able to do justice to each and every one of them. So why show our heroics by just picking one case out of the stack? This message is solely for Pinky Anand – lets flow with the tides of the nature and refrain ourselves from opening a Pandora’s Box.

Donkey's attitude need to be endorsed by every struggling Man/Woman

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.


He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.


A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.


As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!


MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.


Remember the five simple rules to be happy:


1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.


2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.


3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.


4. Give more.


5. Expect less from people but more from God.


You have two choices... smile and close this page,
or pass this along to someone else to share the lesson .
God bless us all!




Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.